Wings

   Why is the art of fried chicken wing preparation so stagnant? Hot/Medium/Mild. Those are your options, plus some stupid green dip crap. What about strawberry teriyaki sauce? Why not marinate it in orange soda? Or chocolate syrup? Sure, there's stuff like jerk chicken and different cultural styles of chicken wings, but it's baffling to me just how conservative, how inconsiderate the sports bar chefs of America have behaved towards this hallowed national treasure. I mean, people regularly spend hundreds of dollars on exotic burgers and bacon pastries (this nationwide bacon fetish still amazes me) and the like, but are wings so low on the cultural totem pole that no one even gives a shit, just accepting their tired, tiered gradations of 'hotness'?

   I really think everyone in America needs to make a batch of orange strawberry chocolate hot wings, and just see what they've been missing. What could go wrong with a little Gallian avant-gardism in one's life? I think it's a great idea.